


Dear DREAM

by douxii



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Gen, I cried writing this, Mark Centric, So much angst, this is so sad seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:36:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douxii/pseuds/douxii
Summary: 'Am I really going to do this? Leave behind my friends for life to fulfill an undefined dream that is not promised to come true?' Mark thinks.





	Dear DREAM

**Author's Note:**

> have fun crying, esp you solaris

Mark sighs as he slowly paces throughout the room aimlessly. He looks on to his friends, the most gracious and memorable friends he’s ever known. The friends who have always been there and have gotten him through everything. The friends he turned to in times of despair. The friends who were there in times when he needed someone but didn’t have the heart or the courage to ask for the guidance he needed. They were like guardian angels to him. Despite being the eldest, he felt like the younger brother at times, them being the hyungs who took care of him day in and day out and him, the maknae, in need of being taken care of.

 

But now was time for Mark to move on, the time to turn over a new leaf and start fresh. He wasn’t leaving them for good, heaven’s no. He was more… distancing himself, as he would say. He loves these boys to death, don’t get him wrong, he wouldn’t trade them for the world. But there was something deep inside of him that needed more. It was as if these six boys were holding him back from something greater. He couldn’t keep himself down to this same comfortable lifestyle forever, he needed something new and different in his life; he needed to step outside of his comfort zone. Mark felt that some time away was the best decision in his journey forward.

 

Mark sighs again, fighting tears. He wouldn't cry. He refused to cry. Definitely not in a time like this. He needed to stay strong. He knew letting himself cry was just going to keep him there. But as he looks upon the boys’ sleeping faces, he couldn’t keep to himself. A single tear rolls down the left side of his face. He doesn’t move to wipe it away, instead letting it drip down to the carpet, a visual sign of his inner emotions, but also a sign that would vanish, unlike those same emotions.

 

Mark stops his casual meander to stand in front of the couch. The living room was a mess, leaving it reminiscent to the night before. The boys held a surprise party for Mark as a celebration of being accepted into the university he’s been wanting to go to since childhood. He was internally glad the party happened; not to be celebrated but to have one final moment with his six best friends before going off without them.

 

He imagines what would happen if one of the boys were to wake up and witness him leaving. Would they be mad? Would they beg him to stay? Or would they support him and tell him to visit them sometime soon with tears in their eyes?

 

He imagines it to be Donghyuck. The damn kid, always so smart, Mark thinks. He suspects Donghyuck noticed signs of Mark’s impending departure, but if he did, he didn’t say anything. Mark prefers to think that Hyuck doesn’t know, putting his mind at ease rather than feeling the creeping waves of paranoia that Donghyuck does know but won’t say anything because he is simply unbothered.

 

Mark looks on to the boy of thought, lying on the couch in front of where he stands, legs twisted with Renjun’s, who had insisted they cuddled while marathoning Naruto with the boys (they were only able to get two episodes in before the entirety of the friend group had passed out, by the way). He thinks of all the times spent with the boy with the sun kissed skin. Those moments, he thinks, he adores the most. Mark was always fond of Donghyuck. Admiring his intelligence and ambition to follow his dreams. He wishes he told him he proud he is more often.

 

Now that he thinks about it, all the boys in this room, they all have a dream. And Mark comes to realize how proud he is of  _ all  _ of them for fighting for those dreams. Jisung recently auditioned to join a popular dance team in their area of Seoul and was accepted in. Another thing Mark wishes he had expressed his proudness about. Mark decides to give their small group of friends a name: Dream.

 

Mark moves to the dining table, which is currently covered in open bags of chips and empty Coca Cola bottles. He grabs a spare pen and the notepad they keep at the breakfast bar for grocery lists (which instead gets used for half assed doodles drawn while trying to stay awake in the middle of a study session). Mark tears off the top note, then pocketing it when he notices the cute drawing of a squirrel that one of boys did. For memories, he thinks. He begins to jot down a note for the rest of them to find after he’s left.

 

_ Dear DREAM, _

 

_ I love you all. And this is hard to say, hard to do, hard in every way possible. But I’m leaving. I know, I know, it’s probably a dumb decision. But it’s a decision I’ve made and I hope you all can support me in my choices, even with the minimum detail provided. You six will always be on my mind, I solemnly swear there won’t be a moment you crazy boys aren’t on my mind. I won’t say much, I like to keep things simple. Just know that wherever I am, wherever I may go, I’m safe. _

 

_ I’ll be back, _

_ Mark _

 

A tear drips onto the notepad. Mark wipes away the tears, trying to keep silent. He stares at the note, now becoming hesitant. Is he really going to do this? Leave behind his friends for life to fulfill an undefined dream that is not promised to come true?

 

Mark lifts his head from where it laid in his arms. He looks to the kitchen, remembering all the times he scolded Chenle and Jisung for making a mess because someone wanted cookies. His line of sight moves to the hallway of bedrooms, remembering all the wounds he treated from someone running and falling, typically Jeno. He looks forward to the dining table, remembering the jokes Jaemin would make, once causing Renjun to fall out his chair. He stands up to look back into the living room. He remembers the loud arguments Donghyuck and himself would get into during intense rounds of Mortal Kombat.

 

Mark wipes away what he decides is his last tear. He moves to his bedroom, no longer his, to grab the stuff he packed once all the others fell asleep.

 

He stands in the doorway after stealthily moving his suitcase through the tight living space, avoiding the limbs of the others strewn about. Mark takes one final survey of the room, more importantly of the people occupying said room. Slowly but surely, he turns his back to them, then walking onto the front porch of their small home, and eventually onto the streets that would lead him to the new life awaiting him.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twitter, @M00NT0PIA uwu


End file.
